SURRENDER - My Easter Prayer

A living sacrifice that crawls away from your altar...

Lord, I would ask: Why does your patience endure?

And yet, here I find myself returning in repentance;

To "Try to surrender" myself once more!

 

I’m not claiming that I’m perfect,

or that I’ve reached the point I need to be;

I’m simply stating that I’m still in the same battle,

And I need your strength in order to succeed.

 

If I walk away now, I couldn’t live with myself

My life - a complete waste of your energy and skill;

I would be a disappointment (to you) in EVERY way,

And I mean,it’s more than just about how I FEEL.

 

I would bring dishonor to you,

Because I cannot claim ignorance to your call;

My act would be that of dis-obedience,

In failure to surrender my ALL!

 

"Surrender", the word that challenges and intimidates

The ultimate offering of one’s will to thine,

The final act of FULL submission, from a life of sin

That takes SELF away, and makes you mine.

 

Lord, I long for that point -

When I can finally say:

My Jesus’ love has won the battle;

I am "completely" his - in every, thought, word, and way!

 

Lord, my Easter prayer:

That my will would be no longer mine;

But that I would strive, and I would endure the fight

Until Long last, I am wholly thine!

Written: April 13, 2006 (Maundy Thursday.)

 

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Just a little note about this poem: I am a (born again) Christian, and I am wrestling with What God's call is, on my life. I've felt for a very long time that "Officership" is what I'm "suppose" to be headed towards. That hasn't changed...What I am struggling with is: "How" to accept that. (which is why I claim the verse of 2 Corinthians 12:9)

You see: I've failed ~ a couple of times now! (In case anyone is keeping track!!! ) It would seem that I'm not all that good at "surrendering completely"...I have the tendency to TRY and hold back (like alot of other Christians...).

For some strange reason, God hasn't "cut his losses yet" with me --- and it seems He's still working on me.(To which, I am VERY grateful)

I come across as being alot of things, to alot of different people...I'm STUBBORN. I'm SELF-CONSCIOUS. I'm GENUINE. I'm sometimes TOO AGGRESSIVE. I'm known to be OPINIONATED. I'm incredibably CRITICAL over myself (Perfectionism = dangerous! ).I'm HONEST. I'm DISCERNING. I'm WILLFUL!

If anyone had to read over many of my past poems, they'd note that I give God glory for his deliverance, and for his persistant pursuit in making me what he intended. They'd see a Christian, who goes through trials, and who experiences Joy, and a Christian who knows WHO IS "SUPPOSE" TO BE IN CONTROL --- Even if she does resist.

This Easter prayer is one of re-committment. It's not just a sham of pretty words, and good intensions. It is legit~ Whether or not I'll succeed (within the time frame I set out): Only the Lord knows for sure! Whatever the case, I'll succeed IN HIS TIME, and according to HIS GOOD WILL.

That's all for now!

Bye!

 

May God grant you a joyful Easter!
Love Dennis and Marti

My dear, you bless my heart everytime I visit. Oh, BTW brought you coffee



Corina's response:
Thanks...

Just have to say..

I'm thrilled at how God's using you in my life. The poems you write are so inspiring and encourging.. See I've been struggling lately with failure, There is this sin that I thought I'd never commit again, and well guess what I did.

I really have been dealing with so much unforgiveness and anger it's amazing my heart hasn't exploded. See I've been a friend to your journal for like sometime now, but I can onestly say I Haven't been here very often to read it.. and God has told me this morning.. I should use these poems in small bites.. It's like I can relate to the one he leads me to at the time and it's really amazing how God does things like that. To everything there is a season under the sun, and It's my season to be healed, delivered and overcome my past.

How crazy it is so many of us get caught up in where we failed and how we were hurt that we become so marred and full of sinful ways. I'm really amazed at how much God's opened my eyes and heart these past 24 hours. God's timing is perfect and I'm seriously wanting to move forward in God and stop allowing my past.. where I've been to take my focus off where I'm going.

God showed me thru an article from www.allaboutGod.com that "Forgiveness is a choice that takes courage and strength, and it gives us the opportunity to become an overcomer rather than remaining a victim of our own scorn.

If you do not forgive yourself of past sins, it is a form of pride. Whenever we enact a different set of rules, a higher set of standards for ourself over others, that is pride. When we can find it within ourself to forgive others, but not ourselves, we are saying that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are somehow more intuitive, wiser, more insightful, more careful than others, and therefore, we are without excuse and should not forgive ourselves.

Manda,
I can relate so much to the statements you just made...And like you, I'm trying to overcome 'failure'...(It's a day by day thing though, I got'ta tell you.)

It's ironic, because up until now I've never even thought that my low opinion of myself, and feelings of defeat/discouragement, etc. originated with Pride...but that really makes sense!

...It's not that I put myself on a higher pedastil than others. It's more like I sense within my own self what God expects; and I'm frustrated and upset with myself because I'm not meeting them.(Despite how much I try. )

I've come to the conclusion that it's just one of those things where I need to 'wait on God'; and stick it out...

Thank you so much, for taking the time to share with me on such a personal level. I believe God can/will use it, as others are battling the same thing.

God Bless You.